Memories
by Tara1517
Summary: Katara was sure that no one could find them. No one could discover them. She was so sure. Zutara week Memories.


**Hello there people. This is for Zutara week, day three : Memories**

* * *

Some things aren't for the world to see. They are only for specific eyes, as they might destroy other people ,if they come to their custody. Both physically and mentally.

Katara was aware of only one thing. That these _things_ must never be found by anyone. No one in the world could know about them. And what they hide. She was doing a pretty good job at hiding them, almost fifty years, that you could imagine her ultimate surprise when she found the Avatar, sitting on her bed and reading them with an astonished expression.

Letters, so many of them, were sprawled all over her bed, covering it entirely. All her precious memories, written in those worn papers. They were wrinkled in many places, betraying how many times she had folded and unfolded them over the years. How many times she had sat on the floor, with a lap full of them, grasping them with shaking hands and trying to read them through her blood-shot eyes. Some of them she had memorized. The most important ones.

The young Avatar, when she took notice of her presence, jumped from the bed like it had burned her and dropped the letter she was reading on the floor.

"Master Katara!" she exclaimed "I... I didn't, I was … I just-"

"It's okay" Katara answered softly and gave her a somewhat reassuring smile. But it did nothing to calm her down.

"I was coming to see you and you weren't in your room and I don't know why I came in but when I did I saw a very pretty comb on the floor and I went to pick it up but then again I saw something under the mattress and I don't know why I pulled it out but then more papers fell and -and -and-"

"Korra" Katara cut her off gently "It's fine, really." She walked towards her and laid a hand on her shoulder, looking at her with a soft gaze.

"But, but I-"

"I'm not mad at you" She assured her "I'm just surprised, that's all."

Korra sighed and looked down. Katara patted her shoulder and smiled again. Her gaze fell on the fallen letter. With a little difficulty she bend down and picked it up. Her eyes ran over it and she smiled as she read its content.

 _Dear Katara_

 _How are you doing? I hope well. I miss you already and it has been only a week. How am I going to manage being away from you for a whole month? I might not. Don't be surprised if you see me at the gates of the Northern Water Tribe earlier than anticipated._

 _Things are quite well here since your departure. Everything is in order. My uncle misses you and sends his best regards. He whines that he lost his partner in pai sho and is left with no one to play now. I volunteered once but after half an hour he sent me away saying that he gives up. I gathered that I'm not so good at this game._

 _You do remember that noblewoman – what was her name again, Lady Lin, Jin, Ming?- that insulted you, don't you? Well, I'm pleased to announced that she fell in one of the fountains of the grand garden. And I might had something to do with this. I am proudly declaring that I'm very proud of my actions. Oh Katara you should have seen her face. Uncle scowled me after but I could see his smile._

 _The stuff speaks fondly of you. I was surprised when I overheard a conversation between them. I was so pleased to hear how they think of you and I quote "What a lovely girl. And so kind. I wish the nobles would take an example and at least try to act like her"It seems that you have won their hearts too. I wish you'd be right here now so that I could hug you._

 _Please write back soon. I am so looking forward to seeing you again at the winter solstice. I'll be counting the hours until we meet again._

 _Love you_

 _Zuko_

A tear ran down her face and landed on the paper. She quickly wiped her wrinkled face and folded the letter.

"He sounded like he really loved you" Korra spoke and Katara raised her face to look at her.

"Yes" Katara murmured "Yes he did."

Korra made some space on the bed and sat down beside her. She planted her palms on her knees and leaned forward.

"From what I gathered from the other letters, you were deeply in love."

"I suppose we were" Are, her mind said. She sighed and put the letter back with the others.

"I won't tell anyone, master Katara so do not worry" Katara looked at the young Avatar as she shifted uncomfortably on her seat.

"I wasn't worried, my dear" she patted her knee and Korra for the first time that evening gave her one of her charming smiles.

"I just.." she bit her lip "I find it so weird. You and the Firelord..." her eyes widen "Weird in a good way! Unexpected, yes that's the word."

Katara laughed out loud and Korra smiled sheepishly.

"If I was in your position I'd find it weird too."

"I guess so. Well, I'll leave you now.." Katara could see so may questions on her eyes but she was grateful that she hadn't asked anything. She wasn't ready to discuss this matter yet. Maybe some other day...

She watched the Avatar closing the door quietly behind her with a soft 'thump' and then turned her eyes at her bed. She stood up with shaking hands and started collecting the letters. Some of them she recognized, some other not so much. She could see the words swimming in front of her eyes, begging her to look at them. Words, phrases, things that were only meant for her to read. For her to feel them. To feel the warmth of his words, consuming her like his fire. Like him.

He could sometimes write poems to her. He wanted to express his love in every way possible he was saying. Some of them were for her eyes. Some were for her soul. Some for her beauty. And some other for their love. Those were the good ones. The happy ones.

There were others though. The ones that made her angry, sad, depressed. Hopeless. Those he would write after an argument. Or when things looked pretty bad for them. He wasn't showing them to her. But she was finding them, sprawled all over his wooden desk, inside his private study. Only a few had being sent to her. Very few.

Her eyes caught a single letter, unopened, fallen on the floor. But she would recognized it everywhere. She had read it so many times. It wouldn't hurt reading it one more time. Her heart was already broken after all.

She picked it up and unfolded it slowly.

 _Dear Katara,_

 _I don't really know what to say...Not any more. And what could I really say? That I am tired? That I can't keep going any more? That we were defeated? I am pretty sure this will be our last letter so I'll try to keep the mood light. After all, I am sure you already know all those things. You were always able to read me like an open book._

 _Now that I think of it, you were always good at reading people. At predicting situations. So I wonder, why you didn't see that one coming? I guess you did see it. Deep down you knew. I know so. Because I think I knew it too. But you ignored it. As I did. We were such fools. Irony isn't it? When we tried to fool the world but we ended up fooling ourselves._

 _Oh yes I forgot the purpose of the letter. Congratulations on your wedding to Aang. I was so happy when I received the invitation. I am sure it will be a beautiful day._

 _That's what I am suppose to say, isn't it? I wrote it many times to memorized it._

 _Damn it, it is harder than I thought it would be. Oh Agni, even writing it makes me want to cry._

 _I have to admit, I was surprised to hear about your wedding after you hadn't written back for about five months. From my uncle. In the beginning I didn't believe him. I didn't want to. But then came the invitation. That hurt a bit you know. Not telling me. But anyway, not that it will change anything..._

 _As I said in the beginning, I don't have nothing else to say. So accept this last poem from me, love._

 _The forbidden things_

 _are the sweetest of all_

 _didn't you know that_

 _my dear love?_

 _Sincerely yours_

 _Firelord Zuko_

Katara slid slowly on the floor, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Her head hurt. Her heart hurt. She didn't want them. She didn't want his words, she didn't want his feelings. It hurt so much. The pain was unbearable. Why her. Why it had to be her. She wanted none of it. Nothing. She wondered why she didn't burn them. Why she still had them?

Because deep down she knows she still loves him. With all her heart. Even if these memories are painful she can't force herself to throw them away. Because they are precious. Because they are all she has left of him.

Tears run freely from her deep, blue eyes.

She doesn't bother to wipe them away.

* * *

 **Zuko might seem to you a little OOC, Speaking to Katara like this in the last letter. I wrote him like that bc I think that he wouldn't want to show how much it affected him and instead he would be sarcastic. He doesn't show his feelings very much so that's why he chooses to respond like that. That's my reason.**

 **I would really like to read your thoughts, so please leave a comment behind! :)**

 **Also I want to say that i HAVEN'T abandoned my other story "Hard Love" . I know it's been a _very_ long time but. . . I'm still working on it. **

**Have a nice day!**


End file.
